so its been a very long time since ive written in here. my life from the point when i last wrote in here to now has changed. im a different person i dont know if its for better or for worse though. ive come to the conclusion that the people i associate with at my school are fake. and i hate that i can hold conversations with them. its like im lowering myself. dont get me wrong i do not think of myself as better than anyone. sigh. i have a boyfriend. who confuses the fuck out of me. i spend most of my time worrying that he has moved on or something. call me paranoid if you will. but o well there isnt anything i can do about that but sit around and see what happens. yea so thats all .
i just deleted a massive amount a entries and the pics, so my journal is kind of blank and boring now.
i am not going to say my life is boring anymore...instead i will say uneventful
intoxicatedstarZ: break out the handcuffs ive been naughty
intoxicatedstarZ: i stole from you
ShinikaruSky: Yes yes you have
ShinikaruSky: No handcuffs
intoxicatedstarZ: damn you
ShinikaruSky: you're not naughty enough. Denied
i love my sethy poo he always brings me happiness
my throat's still burning from your last kiss
as your life pours from parted lips
it's the alcohol i’ll miss
it hurts to move, you can't conceal the truth
here's what we'll do with what is left of you
i've silenced your screams
so you no longer appear in my dreams
i only wanted you to stop
i just don't care how far we drop
one last thing
before you go
one last piece, of my soul
would it matter if i held you
and told you that it was alright,
one last time
i wanted to be your first love
i would have settled for your
but as you walk into his arms
will we ever have our last dance?
forever ends within this minute
why did you choose to end it like this?
when there was so much left to say
you were soft-spoken
in the hardest way
endless waiting for those things,
you could never say
you always knew,
how to break my day
forever ends from this minute
i don't want this to end tonight
it's not alright
infinitely was written
trying not to fold for you
this one last time
before you go to him
whoever said to have loved and lost
is better than never loving
never felt like this!
the times of our lives were not spent well
and so i fell,
harder than ever!
and i'll keep reminding myself to regret.
Loved And Lost Everything
hello.....my life has become so dull ever since school started!
i give up on being interesting now im just plain odd
i find myself abit lost at my school i feel like no one is like me
that the girls are mindless drones
and the guys follow the mindless barbie dolls around
its sad and i feel bad for our generation! lol haha i sound mean
check out the band-the birthday massacre
im feeling a bit conflicted
heres a poem sethy poo wrote me for sweet 16 bday!:
Beauty on the floor
and Hearts on the walls
Basking in the glory of misconceptions
Tied down by whatever they wanted,
fading in the molestion of whatever was dreamed,
and it can't move anymore from here.
So with the beauty on the walls
and brains on the floor,
And asking questions and held to promises,
they never wanted to think back.
They never wanted to think back to all the hopes,
and negate on the love they said.
And with these brains painting the skies,
Flowing beneath whatever they killed,
Their names paint themselves
On the scalps and spines
of one another.
This is your scarlet letter.
No running away,
There is no way to turn back time.
This is your hell as a hero.
i love ya sethy poo
blah nothing important to tell
ShinikaruSky :I am a very gentle and loving human being
ShinikaruSky :...that's funny
intoxicatedstarZ : bet you couldnt type that with a straight face
yea..........today is a sucky day......
i started thinking about all my old friends and my old school. Its not fair that while two of my old friends screwed me over and used me, they still get to go back to that school with all my other friends and decieve other people. Its not right. I dont want you people to think that i throw alot of pity parties for myself today is just a really bad day. Jesus im so scared that all my other friends will forget about me because of those backstabbers....im not gonna be able to have inside jokes with them anymore.....i cant tell them about the person i like or family stuff anymore......so now when i read there profiles and journals its gonna be filled with things i know nothing about.(yes i am possesive over my friends)i just want to be apart of my friends everyday life again.im so lonley and so homesick........ok thats enough of my self pity sorry you had to be subjected to it
cherry coke is wonderful
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .